During Mental Health Awareness Week, we take a look at one of Charlton Athletic Community Trust's (CACT) success stories as Azmeena Azim shares her story about her journey with the Early Intervention in Psychosis Programme.
My name is Azmeena Azim and I am currently an Oxleas service user and an attendee of Charlton Athletic Community Trust’s EIP activity programme.
I joined the programme in September 2022. How this occurred is a very long story. I hope you do not mind if I rewind a bit please. Thank you :)
My Story
I used to be heavily bullied in all of my school life. Mainly because I am different, small, do not fit society’s beauty standards and for some time I was the only Asian in my class. So, unfortunately people saw me as a target.
Naturally I became very shy, sad and scared in public. Outside my home, I was on survival mode and my threat alert system was always on. Therefore, I avoided social situations and consequently made no friendships. But I still continued to persevere with life - only for my loving family (Mum, Dad and younger sister).
Even when there were times when I wanted to end it all, my family members continuously became my beacon of hope.
Then a few years after I graduated in 2017 with my Business Management degree, I started applying for jobs. I constantly faced rejection after rejection after rejection. On one occasion, the interviewer said that they do not want to hire me because I “do not fit the company image”.
From school life to job searching life, I felt my confidence being shattered: piece by piece.
After two years of searching, I finally found a job in London. However, due to self-doubt, negative thoughts and stress, I could no longer cope. So, I decided to leave at the end of my contract in December 2019.
Then 2020 happened - coronavirus spread and the world became standstill. It impacted billions of people across the globe. For me, this is when my mental health began to gradually deteriorate further. I became terrified of germs and I started washing my hands for a minimum of five hours a day. My hands were very painful, burnt from the heavy use of antibacterial soap and were always bleeding.
From 2021, I hid under my duvet every day, I refused to eat and drink etc… My family tried to seek doctors’ help but were told that there was an eight-month waiting list.
While waiting for a doctor’s appointment, my family sadly became my carers, sacrificing their own health, sleep etc… to keep me alive. But my fears continued to spread. I began covering up from head to toe - only with my eyes left visible.
I thought people, insects and germs were monitoring me through technology. At this point, my self-esteem was beyond broken. I began having strong suicidal thoughts and voiced my plans to my family.
My parents quickly informed the GP again and essentially begged them to see me because the path I was heading down - let alone eight months, I did not have eight days.
I finally had a GP appointment and due to the severity of my illness, I was quickly referred to Oxleas NHS Foundation Trust. They then diagnosed me with psychosis, OCD, anxiety and depression (all at the same time) in January 2022.
I began having regular doctors appointments, Care Coordinator meetings, CBT therapy, ACT therapy, graded exposure sessions and group therapy with my family (to educate ourselves about psychosis).
Slowly but surely, I began to improve day by day (thanks to my supportive family and the lovely Oxleas team).
CACT’s Impact
Then the time had come for me to start integrating back into society. This is when I was encouraged (by my Care Coordinator and Oxleas Occupational Therapists) to start attending the CACT activities.
The first Charlton trip I went on was to Howletts Wild Animal Park. I was very nervous beforehand, especially about being away from my family and meeting new people. But, on the day I was warmly welcomed by CACT staff (Terry and Carl). For the first time in several years, I had a fun day out! I actually didn’t want the day to end. This gave me the proof to say that “I can do it”. So, I began signing up to more and more Charlton trips.
I did activities that I had never previously done before (either because of my lack of confidence, phobias or lack of money due to my unemployment). CACT gave me opportunities and a chance to experience a different side of life. For example, I went to Go Ape, bowling, played pool, climbing, laser tag, padel tennis, pottery designing, walking ‘Up at the O2’, horse riding etc. I also saw my first musical (Back to the Future) and went to my first football game with my family to watch Charlton at The Valley. Terry from CACT kindly gave me and my family tickets on many occasions.
Thanks to CACT, I developed key life skills such as communication. I even started to talk to people and make friendships. It was really fun to create memories with CACT staff and other attendees! During CACT activities, when out and about in the community, for the first time I didn’t feel like an alien in my home country. I felt accepted and safe.
Then in 2024, I was kindly invited to the CACT Cornwall five-day trip. Before attending the trip, I was very anxious because I didn’t think that I could do it. I was not very independent and I had never been away from my family for this long before. So, I had a lot of doubts in my mind. But I am so glad I went because this trip positively changed my life!
Everything exceeded my expectations and I loved every minute of it. Each activity pushed me outside of my comfort zone in different ways. We went paddle boarding, coasteering, saw seals, immersed into nature, zip-lined across the Eden Project and went on a 19,000-step coastal walk.
After Cornwall, I feel more energised, confident and independent. I have achieved so much - more than I could ever imagine! I have conquered fears such as going into the ocean - even though I cannot swim.
I have realised that I could do things that I didn’t think I could do (zip-lining from such a height). I have made friends with everyone and I continue to take the things I have learned in Cornwall and embed them into my daily life. Throughout the entire trip, Carl and Terry made me feel very comfortable and safe. They were like my uncles on this trip!
Overall, CACT activities have helped me put some of my past life traumas behind me. I am smiling more and I feel like I have finally found myself.
I am continuing to recover from my mental health difficulties and even though the tunnel was a really really long one, I can start to see light at the end of it.
I don’t know what me and my family would have done without CACT. I highly recommend CACT to other service users. The CACT team continues to contribute a lot to my recovery and I am very grateful.
CACT = family.